Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Fear of falling


As I was thinking about what to post today, I saw a comment by a reader on a previous post that really struck me.

I will now quote said loyal reader: "As for writing, I know I'm not ready, though I've spent a lifetime at this...I tend to cling to my work, for fear of failure, when what I really need to be doing is setting it free to fly or to fall on it's own merit. It's something I'm working on within myself."

Those words really hit me because EVERY author can relate to them. We've all been there, and sometimes we feel like we still are. We've just learned to push aside the fear and realize that we have been given the awesome opportunity to live our dreams - so its worth the risk of rejection.

Here's a secret...I actually kinda liked my first rejection.

Not kidding.

I pitched for the first time at the ACFW conference in Nashville as a newbie so green I might as well have been a walking four-leaf clover. All at once, I was confident, terrified, excited, positive, nervous, hopeful, and full of fear. That really is possible, though it sounds like it wouldn't be. Everyone thought I was kinda crazy for pitching when I was brand new to the ACFW, it was my first fiction conference, I had no idea what I was doing, etc. My thought, however, was, I don't wanna waste any time! So why not dive in and start practicing now?

I stumbled through my pitch until my book didn't even make sense to myself, graciously accepted the form letter the editor handed me (I gotta give her props for not throwing it! haha) and showed myself out. I sat down in the workshop next to my friend, my heart racing, my stomach churning, my breath fast. She looked at me and raised her eyebrows. "How'd it go?" And then I said the words I would never have to say again, and I even said them with a smile. "I just got my first rejection."

It was such a freeing release, saying those words. Because you know what? It was OVER. I was done. I would never again have to live through a first time pitch and a first time rejection. Ever. Oh sure, I'd probably get a second rejection, probably three or ten or twenty, but that wouldn't be as bad as the first one.

And even better, I'd just proven to others and myself that I had done it - had put myself out there, took advance of the opportunities thrown my way, and TRIED. I jumped and fell but you know what? It didn't hurt that bad because I was looking at the big picture. The picture that showed I was officially in the game! I had PITCHED a MANUSCRIPT to a professional EDITOR in the PUBLISHING INDUSTRY...to her face! And gotten rejected! I was totally in this now, and had no where to go but up. I finally felt like I was for real. Not a kid with a pipe dream but a professional actively pursuing a goal.

That was just more exciting than disappointing.
So think of your work that way, even if you aren't preparing for a face to face pitch and are preparing a query letter by mail or email instead. It's the same truth. When you send your work out there, regardless of the outcome, YOU ARE IN THE GAME. You are PURSUING PUBLICATION.

And guess what? Pursuing it puts you one step closer to getting it. =)

Don't rush yourself before you're ready, of course...dont just slap anything together and mail it. Be smart, be prepared, all that good stuff. But if you think you MIGHT be ready, chances are, you ARE ready.

So fly, little writer birdies. Fly!

4 comments:

  1. Awww...this is such a great post! Being in the game IS better than sitting in the stands wearing a team hat and furiously waving a pom-pom with one hand and eating popcorn with the other.

    Or is it.....

    LOL, jk ;) Your post is a much needed reminder.

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  2. Thanks for the encouragement, Betsy! Just this week I was think I am not ready eventhough I have a very devotions I could jump into submitting but tend to put it off!

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  3. "There is nothing to fear but fear itself." That's what I've started telling myself every morning when I wake up. LOL It's great to hear I'm not alone and see how you've succeeded despite those pesky fears. :) Great Post!!

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  4. Am I the loyal reader? Lol. That totally sounds like me. Embarassingly melodramatic, but hey, I'm a writer after all. ;o)

    Great post today, Betsy. I know I need to put myself out there more. I have to, or I'll never succeed at this, and that would break my heart. It's just talking yourself off the edge that's the hard part. The flying/falling is easy... until you hit the ground, that is! But sometimes it takes a few bumps and bruises before we get the hang of something new -- walking, riding a bike, rollerskating... The fun doesn't really begin until you let go.

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