Never doubt...

Yesterday was a fun freebie vent, thanks to BJ's great idea =) Everyone feel better?

Today I feel like taking it a step further. Growing up, I heard the phrase "never doubt in the dark what you learned in the light".

Lately, my personal life has been a little dim. There has been no change in my mother-in-law's condition, and its really taking a toll on my husband. Also, just when we think we're getting ahead financially from my husband's layoff, something ELSE happens to set us back again and make me wonder how we're going to pay our bills (like three major truck repairs in the three months he lost his job! not kidding!) Today, after hearing the news about the truck issue, I just had to laugh, so I wouldn't cry. But then I cried anyway, and ate too many peanut butter M&Ms and felt sick.

But that just proves my point. As I stuffed my face with candy, I was doubting in the dark what I learned in the light - and that lesson is faith. Trust. Belief. It's easy to spout off Scripture and answers when life is sunshine and roses. It's harder when life is rainclouds and thorns. But that's when we need the promises the most. That's when we need to remember what we KNOW even if we can't FEEL it.

For instance, I KNOW God isn't cruel. But from this viewpoint, it seems like the situation for mother-in-law is exactly that. I can't feel that truth but I KNOW it. So I cling to it, because one day, whether in this life or the next, I will see clearly, rather than through this dim mirror. (1 Corinthians 13:12 - Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.)

I had my crisis earlier today. Then I put away the M&Ms and took some deeps breaths and repaired my makeup and told myself that God would figure it out. That this wasn't a surprise to Him. That he wants us to pay our bills and provide for our daughter as much as I want to. And the next thing I know, we were able to sell something to my grandfather he's been wanting to buy for awhile now, and the money was in our hands literally hours later. A glimmer of light, to get me through the next dark moment.

And you know what? I'm learning that sometimes the sweetest moments can come from the dark. Last night, for the first time EVER, as my Lil Miss and I were turning off her lamp and heading to her bed, she said "Mama, love you!" and kissed me on the cheek. Just like that unexpected blessing came in the dark, so does God's love and provision and blessing.

So if you're having a dark day, or week, or even year, you're not alone. God still has a plan - for you, your family, your writing. If you're doubting your writing ability or your calling, remember what He revealed to you in the light. Don't trust your own fragile, ever-changing emotions. Trust His promises and His truths.

They'll light your way.