Too Real to be Fiction

Do you ever have one of those days, that starts with discouraging news, and somehow ends with you standing in the middle of your kitchen in your underwear, yelling at your daughter to quit sitting inside the refrigerator?

I have.

Let me explain. We got some semi-bad news about my husband's job search, which set a dark tone for the day. At the same time, my 18 month old has discovered a new favorite spot - the middle of the fridge. She climbs inside, and sits on the lowest shelf with her back resting against the vegetable drawer. It's actually pretty funny and cute, except when you're in a bad mood and trying to cook dinner while all the cold energy rushes out of the fridge. I was actually resorting to bribing her out with chocolate (something I would never do, normally) when the chicken I was boiling in the Dutch oven (to make chicken enchiladas, which ironically later came out very tasty) sloshed out of the pan and coated my LSU t-shirt and black yoga pants with boiling broth-water.

I screamed and danced, and that's when Little Miss decided to emerge from the fridge, to dance and laugh with me. "Ow ow ow" was our reluctant chorus. When she realized Mommy was actually upset, she gave me a very sweet hug, which made the burn much better. And the fridge door was finally shut without protest.

But that's how my husband came home to find me - he walks in with bags full of groceries from Walmart, and sees me standing there in my underwear with a wet rag pressed against my stomach, mopping the floor with another dishtowel.

Turns out he had a story to trump mine...which is the point of my blog post today. Do you as authors ever have stories to tell that you're convinced an editor would reject, saying it wasn't realistic or believable enough? That's my life, basically, especially in the last 2-3 years, and last night was no exception.

Get this...

Hubby ran to do some errands yesterday, including signing some papers at his mother's nursing home and buying groceries at Wal-Mart. He was standing there in the lotion aisle, searching for the brand I had instructed he find, when he hears a woman scream. A young woman with a baby/toddler and an older child had been at the other end of the row, and the woman was suddenly very distraught and pointing to a guy running away from her in a blue hoodie, yelling for someone to stop him.

Hubby immediately feared the runner had just kidnapped her baby. He confirmed the blue hoodie was the target, then took off. A few other men joined the chase but gave up pretty quickly, losing interest as Blue Hoodie ran through the garden department and outside into the parking lot.

Hubby says at this point he realized the man wasn't carrying a child, but he knew something was still obviously wrong, and he had already committed thus far, so why not see it through? He kept up the chase, across the entire parking lot, down the street, over a hedge of bushes, past a Wendy's drive thru, and TACKLES the guy in the parking lot of an Exxon, where he proceeded to hold him in a full Nelson until the police arrived minutes later.

Yeah.

At this point, I, understandably, had questions. "Did he even try to fight back?"

Hubby's response. "Yeah, he got me in the ear, but I elbowed him in the head, so we're good."

"So you just laid there on top of him until the police came?" (apparently someone at Walmart had called the cops and pointed them in the right direction)

"Yep. Had 'im in a Full Nelson. He told me he couldn't breathe but I told him I was an EMT and fireman and knew for a fact he could breathe, if he was talking, and he was just gonna have to wait."

Yeah.

Turns out the guy had stolen the woman's pink iPhone. Apparently the reason she spazzed the way she did was because the dude snatched it out of her baby's hands in the buggy. I'd have freaked out too if a stranger snatched at my child and made her cry and then ran off with my phone.

The police arrested the guy, hauled him off, and, my favorite line of the night, he actually told the cop "Not bad for a laid-off Bossier City fireman, huh???" HAHAHA. Priceless. The cop agreed.

So, the woman and her kids and phone were all safe, and my hero had a good dinner before going to bed. Again, though, I'm just not sure I could convince my fiction editor this was real enough to be published. ;)

PS - my burn is okay. Apparently it likes a good hero story.