Tick Tock

We had a loyal reader ask :


I have trouble finding the time to sit down and write and not feel guilty about it. (i.e. during work - since I do work from home but am required to be logged in/available/working on projects during normal business hours, during after work hours - time when I am either exhausted or feel like I need to be spending it with my family, etc.)

Erynn touched on this answer, but suggested one of us with children answer, since that is such a time absorber.


Here's my view on time. EVERYONE is busy, whether they have kids or not. Kids definitely make one busier, especially moms, who often stay home with the kids and still have to work a side job or manage the house and clean and cook, etc. all while still being available to their husbands and families, and not forsaking their own spiritual growth by spending time with the Lord.


But it comes down to this: No matter who we are, how busy we are, how many responsibilities we have tugging at us, we ultimately MAKE time for what's important to us.


Think about it. We make time to eat. We make time to go to the bathroom. We make time to clean the house, even if it's not as often as we'd prefer (lol) We make time to sleep. But even beyond neccesities, how many people who are legitimately busy still have a favorite TV show they watch once a week? (even if it's recorded and watched late at night, they watch it!) How many people who are legitimately busy still make time for sporadic lunch dates with a friend, a shopping trip with their mother, a night out with Hubby, etc.


All of that to say it's possible to make time to write. You just have to be willing to MAKE the time. Erynn suggested lunch hour writing for those who work outside of the home or those who work at home but still take breaks. That one hour of writing while munching can be very productive, I did it while at my outside job in the years before I quit work.


You can also get up early or stay up late, which cuts into your sleep - but again, it's about making time for what's important.


Another tip is to get your family on your side. My husband had a best friend growing up whose mother was like Super Mom. I'm still often intimidated by stories about her. She worked an 8 hour job outside of the home, yet came home EVERY evening to her husband and two sons and cooked them a full course meal, WITH DESSERT. Every night! She also managed to cook breakfast in the mornings before work and keep the house tidy and not go insane.

But she had a secret - she had Friday nights. On Friday nights, she came home from work, popped herself a bag of popcorn, and sat in the recliner with a magazine and the remote control for as long as she wanted. She did nothing else for no one, and everyone in her family knew they sure as heck better not ask! It was "fend for yourself" night and they happily consumed a sandwich or bag of Ramen noodles because they knew as well as she did that she deserved the break.


So sometimes that little bit of motivation for coming "me time" goes a long way to propelling us through even a full week of seemingly never ending tasks. Don't think that if you don't have time every day to write, that its impossible. It might be that your time for writing is better taken in bigger chunk of time, say every Saturday afternoon. Or every Sunday evening between the hours of 5-9. Get creative and do what works for you, with your family, and your schedule. And don't be afraid to ask for outside help. Most moms have someone - whether it be a husband, a grandma, a best friend, etc. - who wouldn't mind babysitting on a regular, once a week basis for a few hours to give you that much needed time.


(The real test comes in when you have that time, using it for writing and not watching that TV show! lol)


As a mom, here's my second tip. Don't feel guilty. Right now, as I type this blog, I'm sitting on my couch in my PJs, with Max & Ruby cartoon in the background, and my sweet toddler sitting in the chair beside me, drinking juice and munching Lucky Charms and enjoying her cartoon. Using the TV as a "babysitter" sporadically is not the sin that some "experts" say it is. Don't get caught up in letting all those so called pros tell you how to parent or what's okay for your child. You know your baby or child best, and you know what they can handle and what's good for them. So don't feel like you have to be thinking up crazy, creative, entertaining games for your baby or child literally all day long. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you should park 'em in front of the tube for hours straight!! lol Hopefully you all understand what I mean here.


I feel like I've found a good balance in playing with my child during the day, but also letting her learn to play by herself a little sometimes too. I'm always THERE, and readily accessible, but even if I'm on the laptop for a few minutes shooting my agent an email or posting a quick blog, she knows that if she needs me, all she's gotta do is come tug at me or yell MAMA and I'll be running to refill her juice or whatever else she wants. I also don't do my major writing unless it's her naptime, so I don't get too asborbed in the story and ignore her, or vice versa. So find the balance that works for you and your children and do it!


I hope this helps. Time is a tricky thing, and it flies so quickly, even more so when you are watching your children grow up before your eyes. And that said, time to go play =)