There’s something I just can’t shake – the image of a 95 lb, skinny, green-hued teen. Yup folks – I’m making a personal confession here. That girl was me.
Let’s just say I wasn’t exactly at the top of the 10 Hottest Girls List. In fact, when the guys at camp made the list, I wasn’t even on it. Ten girls, and I was the eleventh one at camp.
But I can’t blame the guys. I’d spent most of that summer hunched over the porcelain bathroom fixtures (whichever ones were available… I wasn’t picky… toilet? Shower? Sink?) puking up the medicine my body somehow thought was poison.
I don’t say all this to make you feel sorry for me. I say this because that girl, although better now, will always feel a little bit of that skinny, scrawny teen deep inside.
My heart aches for other girls who know what that feels like. Not just the physically unattractive ones – but also the ones who are living in the nighttime for other reasons. Other ones who know what it’s like to have the lights go out suddenly. Other ones who ask, “Where is God in this darkness?”
Several years ago I set out to reach those girls in the form of a book. The response from publishers? “Hurting teens aren’t shopping in the Christian bookstore.”
And they were right.
But years later, I can’t stop that scrawny girl from reminding me. I can’t stop her from aching for the teens around me who hurt. I can’t stop her from longing to share more thoroughly her story of God’s redemption and healing… but mostly of how He met her in the dark.
Am I writing other, more saleable projects at the same time? Absolutely. These more saleable projects are also heart-books that I think will reach broader audiences.
But I can’t ignore the girls who cross my path every day. So I talked with my agent. We cleared up the whole breach of contract thing. And she agreed… it was time for me to write a resource for these girls, while still writing my more saleable projects.
So I write, knowing these specific words may not reach millions. I write, knowing that this project is for a select few.
I write… because it is what my heart tells me to do.
Real Question: What’s your number one heart-project?